Friday, November 28, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
MILK: The Review
With all latest uproar over Prop 8, it’s nice that we get to see a film that ties the past to the present. I’m referring to my previously posted about sneak preview of Gus Van Sant's new film Milk, about the life and career of gay political activist Harvey Milk.
The film, starring Academy Award winner Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, James Franco, Emile Hirsch, & Diego Luna was a honest, unsugared, no holds barred portrait of Milk's rise from gay hippie to first openly gay individual to hold a public office.
Van Sant captures the time and the feel of the late 70's pre-AIDS era. It was also great to have the majority of the film take place during the tumultuous time when this country was trying to pass Prob. 6, that banned homosexual discrimination in the work place.
Sean Penn is an absolute revelation as the controversial Milk. He plays Milk as he was a imperfect man in an imperfect world trying to make a difference. This is truly a departure for Penn, who’s usually best known for playing the guy from the wrong side of the law.
It’s a safe bet to say Penn is on course for his fifth Oscar nomination. It’s too early in the game to say if he’ll grab the gold or not. Besides to defer for a moment to amend Robert Downey Jr.’s rant on the mentally handicapped in Tropic Thunder, Hollywood doesn’t award the prize to actor going the "full gay." They like their gays not to have an intimate sex life.
Penn is surrounded by a great group of supporting players, most notably James Franco as his lover & first business partner, Scott Smith. Franco can add this portrayal to his long list of versatile performances. He bring warmth & depth, but also frustration to Smith, as he tries to keep up with Milk’s tenacity in his pursuit to become the first gay seated supervisor of California.
I also liked seeing Lucas Grabeel (Ryan in the High School Musical francise) stretch his rep with his appearence as Milk supporter Danny Nicoletta. Although the screenplay could of giving more to do that just prance around at rallies looking cut in his tight T-shirts. Especially since during the credits they include Nicoletta in the "Where are they now" montage.
Van Sant’s direction is flawless in capturing the feel and look of the mid to late 70's. Props also go out for the look of film to the art director Charley Beal and cinematography by Harris Savides.
After seeing Milk, it reignited my purpose as the tag line says, "To Never Blend In." I advise everyone to see this film, you never know it may convert you in your thinking.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Back To The Movies!
I'm going to a special sneak screening of the new film Milk directed by Gus Van Sant & starring Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, James Franco, & Daniel Luna.
I will brush up on my movie reviewing skills and have a complete report in the morning. I'd would like to say I'd have the movie review up tonight but I know by the time I get home I'll be exhausted. Plus, I think I'll need a night to digest the movie and make cohesive comments on it.
I will brush up on my movie reviewing skills and have a complete report in the morning. I'd would like to say I'd have the movie review up tonight but I know by the time I get home I'll be exhausted. Plus, I think I'll need a night to digest the movie and make cohesive comments on it.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Another Clip!
I know I know! I said I was going to limit the clips. But scroll down, I honestly wrote stuff!
Kids Say The Darndest Things Too!
Since Netty and Jack are leaving next week for a 10 day trip to Jamaica (Yay!), I’ll be staying in Melrose with Sean’s family. It’s due to the fact Netty is worried since the seizure are not under control I should not be staying alone.
Well I thought living with Netty is a chore Well the other day my 7 year old niece gave me the laundry list of "rules" for Staying at her house.
You only can Sleep on the couch.
You need to bring a bed and food for Sasha.
Sasha needs to be nice to Daisy (their dog).
You need to bring certain DVD’s.
Then she got into the dozy.
You can have two pillows to s.leep on , cuz that’s how Mommy & Daddy sleep.
Also
"Uncle Kevin, do you clean your ears?"
"Yeah! Of Course Why?"
""Cuz, Daddy doesn’t like Ear Wax on his pillows!"
Oh sweet baby Jesus, I’m moving in with Netty Jr.
Also My nephew has a habiti of telling me to "Get Outta Here!" everytime I go to play with him.
Also My nephew has a habiti of telling me to "Get Outta Here!" everytime I go to play with him.
He's only 21 months old yet he sounds like Joe Pesci. 
I Like Silent Netty Better!
Ugh! I’m going to have to piss Netty off again. Now that she’s talking to me, she’s driving me more crazy.
I told Jack my itinerary for the week. I told him I was not going to be home last night due to the meeting. But, naturally there was a communication gap between him and Netty. So she called me at least 3 times during the meeting wondering where I was. So when I finally got the opportunity to call her back, she did inform me that Jack told her where I was? So what Netty, did you think he was lying? Then of course I told her it was Town Meeting in Boston at The Male Center. She responded with the argument that Boston is a city not a town.
Christ Netty, it was the truth! Geez, if I was going to lie, I‘d come up with a better one. Lord knows I’ve been doing it for over 20 years with more details yet less plausibility.
I told Jack my itinerary for the week. I told him I was not going to be home last night due to the meeting. But, naturally there was a communication gap between him and Netty. So she called me at least 3 times during the meeting wondering where I was. So when I finally got the opportunity to call her back, she did inform me that Jack told her where I was? So what Netty, did you think he was lying? Then of course I told her it was Town Meeting in Boston at The Male Center. She responded with the argument that Boston is a city not a town.
Christ Netty, it was the truth! Geez, if I was going to lie, I‘d come up with a better one. Lord knows I’ve been doing it for over 20 years with more details yet less plausibility.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Another Med Whoops!
I knew I should have stuck with the 250ml pills of my seizure medication. You see, originally I want to get a higher dosage of a pill because I was tired of taking 6 pills twice a day.
The good news is I got a new prescription for 750ml pills. So I only have to take 2 pills twice a day.
The bad news is the 250ml pills were a pretty shade of light blue, however the 750 ml pills are the same shape size and color of my HIV med (pink), Atripla.
Well last night when I took all my meds one of the pills slipped out of my big mouth and landed at the bottom of my water bottle. Of course I didn’t realize till it was already dissolved beyond recognition so I didn’t know what pill I did not digest.
So to be on the safe side I took an extra Atripla and Keppra. I hope I didn’t do bad.
Anyone know?
The good news is I got a new prescription for 750ml pills. So I only have to take 2 pills twice a day.
The bad news is the 250ml pills were a pretty shade of light blue, however the 750 ml pills are the same shape size and color of my HIV med (pink), Atripla.
Well last night when I took all my meds one of the pills slipped out of my big mouth and landed at the bottom of my water bottle. Of course I didn’t realize till it was already dissolved beyond recognition so I didn’t know what pill I did not digest.
So to be on the safe side I took an extra Atripla and Keppra. I hope I didn’t do bad.
Anyone know?
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Update!!!
I know I’ve been a naughty boy ( No not that type of Naughty! Get your minds out of the gutter!) Just lazy, unproductive as well as depending of you ask down right incorrigible (Netty).
Well let me disclose the major concern that has me distracted. I know I haven’t been in the mood to be writing updated about my condition. It’s just I needed time to the adjustments of living back with Netty & Jack. But also about 3 weeks ago, I had a rough week health wise. It seems I can’t go longer than two months with out having a seizure.
It happened two days before my 35th birth day, I had a major one while watching Tv in bad. It was so intense in its on set that I Blacked out and fell off the bed and either my arm or my leg was banging against the floor. I did not regain coniousness until Netty & Jack came upstairs and was yelling my name. At that point, still woozy, I crawled back into bed saying I was ok. However, a few hours later I awoke thinking what had happened was just a dream. I went downstairs to get some Advil. Netty and Jack heard the rumbling in the kitchen and rushed down to see if I was ok. Well, I was fine physically but mentally I broke down.
You see, I only had a couple weeks to go before I could get the licence back, but now I have to start back at square one.
The following week I did have an appointment with the neurologist, so I just stuck with that appointment. However I did make a call to him and he upped the medication. Yet, I think the upped dosage took a few days to kick in as I was proceeded to have 4 more seizures that week, albeit minor ones.
So I’ve been very depressed, stress, and down right bitter that the is no concrete solution to what is going on in my brain.
I prepared questions for my doctor as well did my own on line research about the medication I was on as well as diagnosis for a seizure disorder. Though the doctor at Mass General did not give me any new information or definitive answers to what the hell is going on.
Also, I learned from my therapist as well as my primary care doctor that even though the seizures are not directly caused by the HIV, the HIV could be affecting the intensity as well as severity of the. So my primary doctor is going to set up a appointment with a new doctor at Beth Israel Hospital in Boston. This doctor I am tod deals directly with HIV patients who are also diagnosised with a seizure disorder.
So naturally I’ve been a little edge and not very pleasant, especially when Netty complains about minor issues. So there have been a few battle royals within the last month whether it is about our short fuses, or my lack of employment. But the ironic thing is, even though seizures can be caused by extreme stress, they only seem to occur a week after Netty & I kiss and make up? WTF is up with that? Who know so I’m just going to try and chill out tonight and not over analyze because since Netty and I are back on cordial terms, I’ll probably have another seizure tonight? Or maybe I’ll just pick another fight with her, just to ensure another seizure doesn’t occur. We will see?
Well let me disclose the major concern that has me distracted. I know I haven’t been in the mood to be writing updated about my condition. It’s just I needed time to the adjustments of living back with Netty & Jack. But also about 3 weeks ago, I had a rough week health wise. It seems I can’t go longer than two months with out having a seizure.
It happened two days before my 35th birth day, I had a major one while watching Tv in bad. It was so intense in its on set that I Blacked out and fell off the bed and either my arm or my leg was banging against the floor. I did not regain coniousness until Netty & Jack came upstairs and was yelling my name. At that point, still woozy, I crawled back into bed saying I was ok. However, a few hours later I awoke thinking what had happened was just a dream. I went downstairs to get some Advil. Netty and Jack heard the rumbling in the kitchen and rushed down to see if I was ok. Well, I was fine physically but mentally I broke down.
You see, I only had a couple weeks to go before I could get the licence back, but now I have to start back at square one.
The following week I did have an appointment with the neurologist, so I just stuck with that appointment. However I did make a call to him and he upped the medication. Yet, I think the upped dosage took a few days to kick in as I was proceeded to have 4 more seizures that week, albeit minor ones.
So I’ve been very depressed, stress, and down right bitter that the is no concrete solution to what is going on in my brain.
I prepared questions for my doctor as well did my own on line research about the medication I was on as well as diagnosis for a seizure disorder. Though the doctor at Mass General did not give me any new information or definitive answers to what the hell is going on.
Also, I learned from my therapist as well as my primary care doctor that even though the seizures are not directly caused by the HIV, the HIV could be affecting the intensity as well as severity of the. So my primary doctor is going to set up a appointment with a new doctor at Beth Israel Hospital in Boston. This doctor I am tod deals directly with HIV patients who are also diagnosised with a seizure disorder.
So naturally I’ve been a little edge and not very pleasant, especially when Netty complains about minor issues. So there have been a few battle royals within the last month whether it is about our short fuses, or my lack of employment. But the ironic thing is, even though seizures can be caused by extreme stress, they only seem to occur a week after Netty & I kiss and make up? WTF is up with that? Who know so I’m just going to try and chill out tonight and not over analyze because since Netty and I are back on cordial terms, I’ll probably have another seizure tonight? Or maybe I’ll just pick another fight with her, just to ensure another seizure doesn’t occur. We will see?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Mamma Mia!
I love this video! Thanks for getting me the CD for Christmas last year, Sissy!
Check out Hedda singing along with Yolanda!
Such found Memories!
Check out Hedda singing along with Yolanda!
Such found Memories!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Preparing For The Doctor!
So I did lots of research and comprised a list of questions for my Dr.’s appointment tomorrow. Since last weeks seizure brigade, I really feel I can’t go on dealing with this seizure disorder. I want to make sure all avenues have been crossed before I accept the fact that I may have to live with a seizure disorder for the rest of my life.
I plan on going into the doctor’s office tomorrow with these questions and force him to take the right steps to determine what in fact is causing these seizures and if and what they can be stopped.
Here are my questions for dialogue:
How are seizures different from strokes?
Since we keep upping the meds and I’m still getting seizures, Is there something else that can be done?
When I have a seizure and black out, does my body go out of control wild kicking and banging?
When I had the large seizure on Monday and blacked out, I had a headache for several days following? Could this be due to the brain activity? Brain hasn’t stabilized?
Should I be looking for work or are these seizures serious enough to get me approved for disability?
Also with the seizures, causing me not being able to drive, difficultly finding employment as well as being 35 years old and moving back into with my parents (which seems to be more for their consciousness than for my well begin.) I’ve already been hospitalized for one suicide attempt. I do still have suicidal ideation, however knowing the flipside of a failed suicide attempt makes me leery of attempting it again. Although when I go a long period of time without a seizure and come within grasp of getting my licence back. Then the seizure occurs and resets the time table, I get extremely depressed and might make another attempt. I do see a psychologist weekly to help me work through the anger, frustration and disappointment.
Can we run tests to get a definitive answer to what causes these seizures? Because they don’t always come about due to stress.
Does weather (temperature) affect seizures?
These are not Grand Maul Seizures?
Is Keppra the right medication to control the seizures?
Am I taken them at the right therapeutic level?
I’m taking 1500 mg twice a day (total 300 mgs)? Should I divide the 3000 mgs so I’m taking the meds 3 times a day? Is the Keppra being absorbed correctly?
When I go for long periods of time seizure free, (roughly 2 months, give or take), when a seizure reemerges the intensity of it seems greater.
As was the case last week when I had a large one on Monday evening (10/27) I felt it come on fairly quickly, my mind wandered, my vision was distorted and the right side of the body began to shake. I proceeded to fall off the bed, not recalling the fall. I woke up to find my parents standing over me calling my name. I said I was ok, however I did not regain full feeling in my right arm. It felt like a dead weight. I also proceed to have a head ache for the next week off and on.
When I had the 2 seizures during the night on 10/29. The first one was a bit intense but not as intense as Monday’s and the second was even less so. Then the 2 I had on Thursday 10/30/2008 they were even less intense than Wednesday’s.
Should I be getting blood work to check the levels during the seizures?
The seizures and meds don’t interfere with the HIV or the treatments?
I don’t think the medication (Keppra) is doing it’s job. While my seizures are few and far between, they are still present. Also, when they do happen they seem to be more intense. Of course it doesn’t help that Netty and Jack have finally seen me have a seizure, so I get asked constantly if I’m ok or “how am I doing?”
Plus, Netty thinking she’s some sort of MD is giving her own prognosis. “ Shit Annette, stress is a factor! So maybe you can stop pissing and moaning about having me living with you and doing extra laundry. I told you I’d do my own chores. But alas you poo-poo’ed that idea.” Plus she thinks I'm going to start taking fish oil pills to better my diet. Um NOT!
Of course it doesn’t help that when I do actually ask for assistance I get a negative reaction. Jack doesn’t know what to contribute to my list of questions. Also Netty won’t go to the doctor’s with us tomorrow. I might warn her tonight though, when she get home tomorrow she better not bombard me with all these questions. Especially since she was given the opportunity to join us. Also I don’t have 100% confidence with the fact that I’m going to get answers. I’m preparing myself for the doctor visit to only elicit more questions. So word to the wise, I might be a bit agitated and stressed out tomorrow night. So get out the thick shoes because I will be surrounded by egg shells for the majority of the weekend.
I plan on going into the doctor’s office tomorrow with these questions and force him to take the right steps to determine what in fact is causing these seizures and if and what they can be stopped.
Here are my questions for dialogue:
How are seizures different from strokes?
Since we keep upping the meds and I’m still getting seizures, Is there something else that can be done?
When I have a seizure and black out, does my body go out of control wild kicking and banging?
When I had the large seizure on Monday and blacked out, I had a headache for several days following? Could this be due to the brain activity? Brain hasn’t stabilized?
Should I be looking for work or are these seizures serious enough to get me approved for disability?
Also with the seizures, causing me not being able to drive, difficultly finding employment as well as being 35 years old and moving back into with my parents (which seems to be more for their consciousness than for my well begin.) I’ve already been hospitalized for one suicide attempt. I do still have suicidal ideation, however knowing the flipside of a failed suicide attempt makes me leery of attempting it again. Although when I go a long period of time without a seizure and come within grasp of getting my licence back. Then the seizure occurs and resets the time table, I get extremely depressed and might make another attempt. I do see a psychologist weekly to help me work through the anger, frustration and disappointment.
Can we run tests to get a definitive answer to what causes these seizures? Because they don’t always come about due to stress.
Does weather (temperature) affect seizures?
These are not Grand Maul Seizures?
Is Keppra the right medication to control the seizures?
Am I taken them at the right therapeutic level?
I’m taking 1500 mg twice a day (total 300 mgs)? Should I divide the 3000 mgs so I’m taking the meds 3 times a day? Is the Keppra being absorbed correctly?
When I go for long periods of time seizure free, (roughly 2 months, give or take), when a seizure reemerges the intensity of it seems greater.
As was the case last week when I had a large one on Monday evening (10/27) I felt it come on fairly quickly, my mind wandered, my vision was distorted and the right side of the body began to shake. I proceeded to fall off the bed, not recalling the fall. I woke up to find my parents standing over me calling my name. I said I was ok, however I did not regain full feeling in my right arm. It felt like a dead weight. I also proceed to have a head ache for the next week off and on.
When I had the 2 seizures during the night on 10/29. The first one was a bit intense but not as intense as Monday’s and the second was even less so. Then the 2 I had on Thursday 10/30/2008 they were even less intense than Wednesday’s.
Should I be getting blood work to check the levels during the seizures?
The seizures and meds don’t interfere with the HIV or the treatments?
I don’t think the medication (Keppra) is doing it’s job. While my seizures are few and far between, they are still present. Also, when they do happen they seem to be more intense. Of course it doesn’t help that Netty and Jack have finally seen me have a seizure, so I get asked constantly if I’m ok or “how am I doing?”
Plus, Netty thinking she’s some sort of MD is giving her own prognosis. “ Shit Annette, stress is a factor! So maybe you can stop pissing and moaning about having me living with you and doing extra laundry. I told you I’d do my own chores. But alas you poo-poo’ed that idea.” Plus she thinks I'm going to start taking fish oil pills to better my diet. Um NOT!
Of course it doesn’t help that when I do actually ask for assistance I get a negative reaction. Jack doesn’t know what to contribute to my list of questions. Also Netty won’t go to the doctor’s with us tomorrow. I might warn her tonight though, when she get home tomorrow she better not bombard me with all these questions. Especially since she was given the opportunity to join us. Also I don’t have 100% confidence with the fact that I’m going to get answers. I’m preparing myself for the doctor visit to only elicit more questions. So word to the wise, I might be a bit agitated and stressed out tomorrow night. So get out the thick shoes because I will be surrounded by egg shells for the majority of the weekend.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
So Far Seizure Free This Week!
Ugh! So I’m sitting here thinking of 1001 questions to bombard the neurologist with on Friday. As I previously posted I had a seizure last Monday night. Well now the total for last week was 5 seizures. That’s the bad news, but the good news is it’s a new week and so far I am seizure free.
As of now the Dr. Is just upping my seizure medication (Keppra) to 1500 mg twice a day. That 3000 mg a day. Shit that’s a lot. What makes it worse is my pharmacy only have 250 mg pills so I have to take 12 pills of Keppra a day plus the other medication. Now Netty really thinks I’m going to add to it my take a fish oil pill from GNC. Aw hell know. Just make me shrimp and lobster every night, Netty! They’re shellfish, but hence still a fish!
I’m trying my best to keep cool and calm. So my doctor better be ready to give me some answers because I won’t be leaving the office without some.
As of now the Dr. Is just upping my seizure medication (Keppra) to 1500 mg twice a day. That 3000 mg a day. Shit that’s a lot. What makes it worse is my pharmacy only have 250 mg pills so I have to take 12 pills of Keppra a day plus the other medication. Now Netty really thinks I’m going to add to it my take a fish oil pill from GNC. Aw hell know. Just make me shrimp and lobster every night, Netty! They’re shellfish, but hence still a fish!
I’m trying my best to keep cool and calm. So my doctor better be ready to give me some answers because I won’t be leaving the office without some.
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