Camp Classics!

I took my little Sasha to the beauty parlor to get all prettied up for the long weekend. So instead of going back to Netty & Jack’s to wait, I decided to stroll around Marblehead. I grabbed some lunch & browsed around in a few shops, when I walked past Marblehead Little Theatre. Then like lighting striking a post I made like Blair Warner in The Facts of Life and I came upon one of my brilliant ideas.

I noticed every Friday night they have a movie night for $5. Well being that this month the new Indiana Jones flick comes out at the end of the month, they were dedicating every Friday in May to a Harrison Ford picture. All I have to say is the selections that they picked were so uninspired and unoriginal. I mean come Patriot Games & Working Girl. Boring! Anyone with basic cable can stay home and catch those flicks any weekend. Use some smarts people! They don’t play Blade Runner on TV anymore. come on think outside the box!

So I decided I’m going to call the Marblehead Little Theatre and present a proposal to them. You if you look over to the right of my blog you will see a list of movies I love. The majority of those movies are not only “camp classics”, but I also own them on DVD.

I am going to propose that they let me run the Friday night movies or give me another night to have a “Camp Classic” night. How fun would that be? When was the last time we saw Airport ’75, Mommie Dearest, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Valley of the Dolls or countless others on the boob tube. Plus with my extensive knowledge of these classics, I can provide trivia and fun facts that would make the view of these films all the more enjoyable.

Come now stand up and shout if you’re down with “Kevin’s Camp Classics”!

Another Reason To Chose Your Fag Hag Wisely!

Let me get back to what I do best. That is tell a story with humor and wit. And what better way to do that is to share with you a story that involves “The Diva” and why you need to be careful in choosing her as your fag hag.

One Friday afternoon back in our college days, I was sitting around the cafeteria with my straight friends, when “The Diva” invited me to go out with them to dinner the following night.

Unfortunately to “The Diva’s” dismay, I declined the offer without giving her more details of my reason for the decline. I did not want to tell her Saturday night was “Gay Boys” night. Plus the gay boy I was going out with was my friend Steven, who I felt wanted to take our friendship to the next level. I, unfortunately, did not share the same feeling and wanted to let him down easy.

When I arrived at the restaurant to meet Steven to my surprise there was “The Diva” and all my straight friends hanging at the bar. Naturally I went over to chat with them. I could tell “The Diva” was a bit put out that I was at the same restaurant. I believe she felt a little blown off.

Although, being the diva that she was she knew how to get even.

When Steven arrived, we went over to our table and had dinner and small talk. After dinner, I gently let Steven down easy. I told him that I liked him and valued our friendship and wanted to continue on that level, alas no further than that.

I could see in Steven’s eyes his disappointment and he looked like he was going to cry. This is when “The Diva” set her plan into motion.

As a tear began to glide down the cheek of my friend, whose heart I had just shattered; the entire wait staff began to march over to our table with a cake in tow, chatting a Happy Birthday ditty. The cake was for me.

Needless to say I should point out that this incident took place in the middle of February & my birthday isn’t until the end of friggin’ October!

When I looked around the restaurant to see whom the culprit was, there was “The Diva” at the exit door peeing in her pants laughing at the spectacle she had just caused.

Well at that moment I was a gentleman and excused myself from the table and proceeded to chase “The Diva” out the restaurant door. When we got outside, I then proceeded to pick her up and throw her in a near by snow bank.

Hell hath no fury as gay boy embarrassed!

So I Lied & Added A Visual. Shoot Me!

Let The Anger Rise!

Well, I have to say it’s a good thing for the blog that I’m staying at Netty & Jack’s this week. I know a lot of these posts are just here to get me out of a bad spell and don’t really clarify my true emotions, reasoning or feelings. I post a YouTube clip or video when I feel blue, but I feel I’m gypping the reader and/or myself by not detailing the facts or feelings behind the clip.

Besides Netty & Jack’s computer is way to slow to be adding graphics and videos. So now I’m going to take this opportunity to detail the anger and frustration I am feeling. That way I can move on from it, but also the people close to me know what exactly is pissing me off about my situation.

First off, yesterday was my court date. The judge as well as the officer agreed that I did everything according to law in their eyes. So, if I don’t have a traffic violation form now till the 18th of November. Piece of cake since I don’t have a license. Also by the doctors’ rules if I don’t have another seizure in that time frame the six month time table won’t need be reset.

I was aware of this going into the courtroom and prepared myself for this outcome. So this is not the incident that pissed me off. What got me upset was my brother, Det. Sean Brady, was suppose to meet Jack & I at the courthouse. He was supposed to stand by me when I went in front of the judge.

Did I tell anyone yesterday that this is the reason I was upset? No I didn’t. Why should I? It only would've gotten me more upset because if I expressed my feelings, especially to Netty, I would've gotten the “Sean is very busy” speech.” I was in no mood to hear that again. I already heard it once when I wanted Sean to help me move my stuff back to Haverhill the first time I left the den of Netty.

Plus, I didn’t enough energy yesterday to bite my tongue. I would've just caused another riff between Netty & I, because I would have reminded her that if the situation was different and if one of Sean’s brothers’ by law & not blood or if my last name was Berrigan (Sean’s in laws) were in my giving situation, I am sure Sean would have moved heaven and earth to be there.

No, I’ll hold my tongue and wait till the faithful day when it’s Netty’s turn to be upset at Sean for doing something for the in-laws and not her. Besides I know that time will be soon enough. Since Netty likes to piss & moan about here problems to me, that’s when I’ll go in for the kill with a “shut the f*** up!” Or I might even threaten her by telling her I’m going to withdraw all my saving and 401k money and use it to get a sex change. Hey, I figure if I get myself a pair of tits & a twat that might entitle me to have a hair growing across my ass!

Also I am a little pissed at Netty for our open discussion about me moving back home for a time. Netty made it clear from the get go that she is set in her ways and wants thing done how she wants them done and nothing is to change that. The problem doesn’t lie in me not understanding that. Trust me I do. The lynch pin is that if I come back into the house for I time, I want to be coming, going & living as I please without “Negative Netty’s” input.

What age does one have to be to declare are set in their ways & are too old to change?

I’m a different person and grown up since I left home at 28. I know I was at times a little out of control especially on the weekends, going & staying out late partying. That’s what part of our 20’s is for. I’m fast approaching 35 now. I want to be more focused. I am more determined in making choices that are going to improve and fulfill my life and not settle for just anything to get me by. It’s only going to cause me more anger & resentment.

As we all know I’m a bit more open mined than Netty and I look at life in a bit of wider spectrum. I really don’t see Netty keeping her mouth shut and allowing me the opportunity to grow and experiment, even though I offered to pay rent to keep her opinions to herself. (Netty is asking for $75 a week.)

So I’m thinking now isn’t the time to come back in to the den. As the weeks of unemployment checks are winding down & I may be piss ass poor, but hell I still have 100% of my freedom.