Who Knew?

OK! I want the truth! How many of you out there knew that May was officially National Masturbation Month?

Thank God thus far only my sister, Cheryl, is the only one in my family that know about my blog.

Normally I would be embarrassed to discuss this but now that I’m a blogger I feel it is my civic duty not to let this little (well not that little) tidbit pass by.

I honestly can say this is news to me. No wonder my libido was in overdrive last couple days, it was getting excited about the big month.

Sweet Jesus, Gay.com, has a survey on how, when & where you like to be pleasured. I won’t disclose what the multiple choice questions are, due to possible copyright infringement. I’ll let you venture to the site if you choose.

I do have to say though it wasn’t fair that we were only allowed one answer per question. Although I do have say, my answers did fall into the majority. I know I’m not very original (vanilla) when it comes to the act.

Alrighty now on the count of three, stand up, raise your one free hand and repeat after me:

"My name is_________________, and I love to masturbate!"

For the sake of farm animals everywhere, I hope we don’t find out June is National Bestiality Month.

I Got It! So I'll Flaunt It!

So now that

there are

several posts on my blog.

It's time for me

to work on a little self promotion.

How I Feel Most Days?

There are so many songs that if I hear certain excerpts I can totally connect with, but there is really only one song that I can listen to over and over again that I can relate to every single lyric. The song is Charlene’s 1982 classic I Never Been To Me.

So I took the liberty of posting the lyrics:

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life

You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife

I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do

But, I wish someone had talked to me

Like I wanna talk to you.....

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run

I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun

But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away

'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today

I can see so much of me still living in your eyes

Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....

Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht

I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got

I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

[spoken]

Hey, you know what paradise is?

It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be

But you know what truth is?

It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning

The same one you're going to make love with tonight

That's truth, that's love......

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete

But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet

I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free

Hey lady......

I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)

But I've never been to me

(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)

I've been to paradise, never been to me

(I've been to Niece and the isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht)

I've been to paradise, never been to me

(I've been to cryin' for unborn children that might have made me complete)

I've been to paradise, never been to me

(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)

I've been to paradise, never been to me

Anyone else out there know what I mean?

This Morning's Inspiring Photo!

Life Is A Banquet!

And Most Poor Suckers Are Starving To Death!

So As God as My Witness I'll Never Go Hungry Again!