Birth Order: Who's the Favorite?

Again I woke up this morning and turned on The Today Show. They were discussing the birth order of children and how the oldest child usually gets 1/3 (3000 hours)more of the parents’ attention than the rest of the clan in a life time. As well the oldest usually is more success in life.

I found it fascinating and also partly true. Birth order and especially favoritism is a large underlying theme in my family. Growing up, I would always hear how Mimi would favor the oldest child, my Uncle Barry. There was a lot of resentment towards him due to this.

Now Netty and Jack had the same sex and birth order and Mimi & Papa’s clan. ( A son, Barry, a daughter, Netty & then another son, Bobby). In Netty & Jack’s household the order was: first
came Sean, then Cheryl, then finally me.

I totally agree that the oldest is more likely get to extra attention due to the fact parents have more time to devote exclusively to the one child as well as getting a custom to the new job of
parenting.

However what I don’t agree with is if that older child gets more attention or favoritism, that the other siblings take it out on that child. It is not the oldest child’s fault. You can blame the parents but to me that would just be repeating a cycle and it will never stop.

Looking back, when I was younger I did resent the fact that Jack spent more time and did more activities with Sean than he did with me. As I got older however, I reflected on the activities not the time spent. Honestly if Jack took me golfing or practiced playing ball in the backyard, I would have been friggin bored after a minute. Jack & Sean generally have more common interests. Besides Since I was "The Scooch" to Mimi and especially Papa, I got all the attention I needed on the next street.

So now that I pride myself on being older and wiser, I look for activies and/or movies that I know my father and I would both enjoy.

I also I have to give a lot of props to my dad since my HIV diagnosis as well as recent accident/seizure diagnosis. He has really stepped up to the plate and been there for me, especially when it comes to carting my ass around and/or listen to my big mouth when Netty says or does something to piss me off.