On Marblehead!

Maybe, I really do have too much time on my hands to reflect. As sit here today and think about the weekend, it amazes me how on Saturday, I had an absolute blast at the parade, marching and seeing friends I haven’t seen in years (Wetley, Ed & Jim); as well as making a few new ones (Scott, Mark, Keith & especially Gary) I hope.

Then spending Sunday at Netty & Jack’s was a total role reversal.

I felt it was best I did spend the weekend for two reasons. First naturally since it was Father’s Day this past Sunday & Jack has really stepped up to the plate & been there for me these past few months. I felt I should be there to honor him. Second, I just didn’t want to leave Sasha all alone for so long on Saturday while I was at Pride.

Saturday, I got to be the person I always wanted and felt I should be. I was outgoing, witty & funny. I conversed in conversations that held my interest. Then Sunday, I was back at Netty & Jack’s and I was back in that shell. Everything that came out of my mouth, Netty took offence to or took it out of the context of the conversation. Also it didn’t help that On Golden Pond was on TV that day. I really felt like the Jane Fonda character. Away from Marblehead, I’m the person I want to be and everything that gets thrown at me I can give it the good “cock” block. But back at 17 Carol Rd. I feel that disapproving glare or hear that tone in Netty’s voice and I get the sense that I’ve disappointed her somehow. And I still can’t shake that feeling or stigma.

I do have to pat myself on the back though. I am making some strides in dealing with Netty. On Saturday before Netty left for Weight Watchers, she asked what time I was leaving the house. After I told her, she stated in her that “holy than thou” tone of hers, “Just be street smart, Kevin.” I paused and just retorted with an, “OK!” Even though I really just wanted to slap her.

I guess I just have to remember that when dealing with her, it will always be a continuing work in progress and it’s OK to just take baby steps with it rush it. Just keep my cool and go with the flow.