Winning A Pie Eating Contest is More Sacred Than A Golden Globe, Miss Goldie Hawn!

Dammit I should know!

Again if it wasn’t for my Mimi’s big mouth, I wouldn’t be sitting here today with an award on my mantel & a story to tell.

Back in 1985, while I was living in Revere, Mimi took me to the Park & Rec’s Harry Della Russo Stadium & entered me in the blueberry pie eating contest.

As the race began, with my arms firmly behind my back, I diligently shoved as much pie into my tiny (ya right!) 11 year old mouth.

When the moderator yelled stop, they were about to hand the prize to another young boy. Well, Mimi was not having that and let her opinion be known. "That’s not right!", She yelled. "Look! He pushed all the crust off the pie and it’s on the table not in his mouth!"

Then Mimi proceeded to point to me and made the judges aware that all my crust was either in my mouth or already digested.

So I may not have a sports trophy, an Academy Award or even a Golden Globe up on my mantel. But thanks to Mimi I have a well earned pie eating award.

I even got my picture on the front page of the local paper, The Revere Journal. For which Netty got the hard copy glossy and in turn had it published 7 years later in my high school yearbook for all my classmates to see and tease me about.


Thanks Netty & thanks Jacki for helping me scan the photo in!




Also special thanks to the seizure & car accident. Because I now firmly believe due to them, what was left of the portion of my brain that controlled my inhibitions & the hesitations of me making a complete fool of myself has been completely destroyed.

And that’s sacred to me!